A New Beginning

2015 is almost here. Beginning of a new year always brings with it a bitter sweet anticipation as to what surprises it holds. Sometimes your past experiences helps you move towards a new start.
They say that we should let go of our past and look forward to the future. But I think that you learn a great deal from the past experiences. It stops you from repeating the same mistakes. It molds you into a better person.

My experiences in 2014 have helped me in understanding myself better and I have learnt to accept myself as I am. I have realized that nobody can be perfect and those little imperfections are what makes me me. 

I am not perfect, but I revel in my imperfections
I have been burnt, but I have learned to rise from the ashes
I have cried, but I have learnt to wipe the tears and face the world
I have been gripped with fear, but I have learnt to move on even then
I have been crushed under the weight of self-doubt, but I bore it and did what I had to do
I have been tormented by my past, but I never lost hope and strived towards a new beginning.

Happy new year 2015 to everyone :)

(This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda)

2015..Already?

Today is the last day of 2014. I wonder where the year went. Just recently I had celebrated the start of 2014 and my first new year with my husband. A whole year just went past in a blink.

The one thing that I learned in 2014 was that how important it is to have patience. Sometimes it just doesn't help to obsess about things which are not in our control. Everything will fall into place someday. We just need to believe.

I had read somewhere that 90% of our happiness or sadness depends on the kind of life partner we choose. I had not given it much thought then, but now I have realized how true that is. Ours was an arranged marriage. It might sound as a cliche, but when we talked for the first time, we found an instant connect. Now after an year of marital bliss, I have realized that he is the reason behind my smile and an unflinching support system. He has become a source of huge encouragement for me. He is an epitome of infinite patience and calm. I feel so blessed to get a husband like him who has accepted me as I am and never ever tried to change me.

2014 has also taught me to be more empathetic to people. It was also an year of self-introspection for me. I have learnt a great deal about myself and trying to accept and love myself more.

I am looking forward to 2015 and wonder what it holds for me.

Happy New Year 2015 to everyone:)

Quilling

Lately, I have gotten interested in quilling. It is an art form where strips of paper are used to create designer items. It is an extremely engaging and de-stressing activity for me. Below is my first quilled creation. I am still an amateur and need to improve a lot :)

Hobby that was close to my heart

When I was in school, I had this fascination about history. I used to wonder how people lived in the bygone era, how they dressed, what did they eat, etc. My most favorite historical place till date is Hampi. The place has some kind of a vibration, which just pulls you towards it. The architecture in the temples there is just memerizing.

I was in 9th standard when I had visited Hampi and just outside the Virupaksha temple there was a shop selling antique looking trinkets. The shop was very attractive and I went and examined a few things. I bought a lotus shaped box used to store Turmeric powder and vermillion. It was just beautiful and I also bought  a small bell with a beautiful carving of Radha Krishna on top. He also had a few old coin collection which he claimed belonged to the Vijaynagara empire. I doubted if it was true but I bought them nonetheless. I was so excited with my little collection that I came home and stored all of them carefully in a box.

From then on, whenever I visited a historical place, I collected tit bits from there. At one point I even brought home some stones from a place called Aihole and Pattadakallu in Karnataka. Just by touching those stones, I would be transported to 12th or 13th century. I had an active imagination and would just dream about the people who lived in that era, the palaces and the grandeur.

Till I joined college, I had them with me and looked after them with great care. But unfortunately during the shifting of our house, the box got misplaced and I just lost it. I searched for it everywhere but in vain. I was so angry on my mother that I did not talk to her for many days.

I don't know if I can call this a hobby, but I had grown really attached to those trinkets and considered them as my best friends. I know it sounds weird but its true :)

Oh Coffee, my love!

“As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?” 
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes


My morning starts with a cup of freshly brewed filter coffee. I just cannot get up and get into a routine without this mesmerizing drink, which rejuvenates each and every nerve in my body. Below are the 5 reasons why I have fallen in love with coffee:

1. The Aroma: The aroma which hits my nostrils is enough for me to get excited about the day ahead.
The combination of this and the early sun rays of a winter morning gently falling on my kitchen floor is the perfect start for a beautiful day.

2. The Conversation: I and my husband are really lucky to have our offices at just 30 mins distance from our home. So we get plenty of time in the morning to sit and enjoy each others company with a hot mug of coffee. It is incredible how the conversation just flows from one topic to another with the aid of this wondrous drink.

3. Stress reliever: Whenever I am stressed at work, I remember coffee. It acts like a great companion. It has also helped me in finding solutions to so many problems at work. When I get overwhelmed with work, I just get up and make myself a large cup of filter coffee :)

4. Family bonding: My entire family is crazy about coffee. No matter the differences, the one thing that we all bond on is a tumbler of this beautiful drink called coffee.

5. Companion in sickness: Whenever I have fever the only thing that I crave for is coffee. It instantly makes me feel better.

Oh writing about this has made me crave for coffee now. Let me get up and make myself a hot cuppa :)

Scarred

 The auditorium boomed with applause, as I stepped up to receive my MBA certificate and the medal for being the topper in the entire college. It was a surreal experience. I looked at my parents. My father had a proud smile on his face and my mother had tears in her eyes. We went home and celebrated my success. I already had a job offer in my hand at a reputed MNC.  Anybody would think that my life is perfect. But it is not so.

Just 4 years back, I was a victim of acid attack. My perpetrator was a guy from my MBA coaching institute. He had asked me to marry him, but I had rejected him. One day when I was out shopping with my friend, he came on his bike, threw acid on me and fled.  It had scarred the entire left side of my face, except my eye. I was immediately rushed to the hospital; however the doctors could do little to restore my original skin. I had also lost hearing in my left ear The acid not only left a scar on my face but on my entire life. The attacker was arrested and sentenced to few years in prison.

I was discharged from the hospital and came back home. 

From that time on, everyday became a struggle for existence. I did not leave my room for several months and did not look at my face in the mirror. I started hating myself. I lost all my friends and I discontinued my MBA coaching. I felt ugly and severely depressed. By that time, my dad found out about an institute which provided counseling for people like me and help us get back on our feet. I enrolled for the counseling sessions, which happened for 3 days in a week. There I met, many other girls who were the victims of acid attack, just like me. After so many days of being a recluse, I felt that I was accepted somewhere and I was not alone. The counseling sessions helped me get back my strength and confidence to face the world.

I restarted my MBA coaching and got into a very reputed college and the rest as they say is history. But has my life become better now? The answer is no. It can never be better or normal. Every day, I should face the stares from the people as if I am some extra-terrestrial. Every day, I should hear the remarks from my so called relatives that I can never find a groom or get married. Every day my self-esteem gets shot down miserably and every day I should remind myself that I am a well-qualified and confident woman. I am just thankful for what I have got now and believe that I am beautiful in my own way.

(This post is dedicated to all the acid attack victims. I just cannot fathom the pain and hurt they might have gone through.)

Feeling low:(

Ah! Finally back to blogging after so many days. I just had the worst week of my life. I dropped a heavy bucket full of water on my feet and fractured the last 2 toes :(
Doctor has advised bed rest for a week. But the sad part is, I cannot take leave from work as this is a crucial time for our project and my presence is needed. So I am popping in pain killers and working from home.

I was so overwhelmed with work, that I just couldn't take time out to post something here. Today I have got a little bit of time, but I am feeling like I have run out of ideas :(
May be my mind has become numb due to all those pain killers. Hope tomorrow I could think of something to write.

The fire within

I had a fire inside me

A fire to do something, to change the world

I walked undeterred on my own path

I was fearless and free

I had dreams to fly high and touch the sky

But the inevitable happened

I was bound by shackles of the society

My wings were clipped and I dropped to the ground

I dropped so hard, I couldn't rise

The fire died inside and I was reduced to ash

I was lying there lifeless, in what felt like an eternity

I was on the brink and succumbed to my fate

Just then I saw a bright light

It engulfed me with its aura

It gave me hope

A hope of a better place

Where the sun shone bright and peace prevailed

Where the chirp of the birds are heard instead of gun shots

That hope helped me get back on my feet

That hope re-kindled the fire inside me.

I found the strength in my feet return and my heart got its courage back

I slowly walked towards the light, towards a better future and better life

-This poem of mine is dedicated to the courageous Malala Yousafzai. I salute her strength and determination.

The curious case of a flabby tummy.

I really don't understand, why the size of a guy's tummy is directly proportional to number of years of marriage? Before marriage, DH was in a good shape with a flat tummy. But now his tummy size is just a few inches smaller than that of Kung fu Panda. I am tired of urging him to exercise and start dieting. Below is a snippet of conversation that we had yesterday:


8 AM:

DH is standing in front of the mirror and staring at his ever growing tummy.

DH:I have decided. Starting from today I will have only salads for dinner. Nothing will distract me from following it.
V:You say that everyday and forget about it by night.
DH:No V, this time I am serious. I will reduce at least 3KGs in a month.
V: Eye roll

2 PM:

Our conversation on the phone.
DH: Hi V, had your lunch?
V: Yes. What about you?
DH: Not yet, but we are going out. Boss is throwing a party.
V: What for?
DH: Its his birthday today.
V: Ok. Just watch what you are eating.
DH: Come on V. That miserly boss of mine is throwing a party. How can I watch what I am eating? This is a perfect opportunity to take revenge on him. I will order the most expensive item on the menu. I will skip salad also tonight to compensate.
V: ??

8 PM:

V: What is there in that packet?
DH: You wont believe what happened today
V: What?
DH: Do you remember Ramesh bhai's shop?
V: Ramesh Bhai who?
DH: Arre yaar the one who owned a small chaat stall and used to make awesome dabelis and vada pav. He had to close his shop due to some license issues. He has re-opened it again and guess what, he called out to me while I was passing his stall. He still remembered me. He said he has prepared fresh dabelis and vada pav and insisted me to taste them. I couldn't refuse him could I? After all he had recognized me. So I bought a couple of them.
V: But what about your diet?
DH: I will start from tomorrow. Pakka.
V: Sigh...

Envy

(55 Fiction)

She stared at the women employees. They exuded an air of superiority and walked with a purpose. Oh how she admired these women!

She always imagined herself in their place and taking over the world with her charm and confidence. 

Maybe in my next life she thought and went inside to clean the office washroom.

Is that it?

You are born.
You learn to walk.
You go to school.
You go to college.
You get a job.
Marry.
Have children.
Buy house, car.
Pay EMIs
Child's education.
His school.
His college.
His job.
His marriage.
Become old.
Start hospital visits.
Have regrets.
Finally die.

I think our entire life is summed up in the above statements. All the other miscellaneous things that we do in life revolve around these. Hmm depressing :(

The blind date

“Arjun is a great guy. He is adventurous and fun-loving. He is perfect for you. Please meet him once Preeti. I am sure you will not be disappointed” pleaded Ragini. “Ok ok I will meet him and please stop making that puppy face. You look stupid” said Preeti to her best friend. “Ok then I will call him and set up a meeting place and time. Oh I am so excited for you”. Preeti sighed and hoped that this meeting wouldn’t turn into a complete waste of time.

She remembered the last time Ragini had hooked her up with a colleague of hers. She had told the last time too that Raghav would be perfect for her and she had agreed. But the whole date turned out to be a disaster right from the beginning. She had waited for Raghav to turn up at the café where they were supposed to meet. He came in 20 mins late and if that were not enough, he had a complete rain forest growing on his face. She cringed at the memory.  Preeti liked men to be well groomed just like her father. She did not remember a single instance where her father had stubble growing on his face. She just hoped that this date would not turn out into a disaster.

She reached the venue fixed by Ragini and looked around. She had told that Arjun would be wearing a white shirt and sitting at a corner table. She immediately spotted him. The first thing that struck her was that he had a clean shaven face. Not a single stubble in sight. He was wearing a simple, well ironed cotton shirt on blue jeans. Suddenly she started feeling positive about the meeting. She approached him and he immediately got up from his place. “Preeti?” he asked. She simply nodded her head. He shook her hand and introduced himself. He even pulled out the chair for her. They started talking and the brief introductions led to more meaningful conversation and Preeti found herself enjoying in his company. She sent a silent prayer and hoped that this would be followed by several more dates.

(This post is a part of #WillYouShave activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette. This post is written again in response to Canary's tag. )

Bharat Mata assaulted

What the heck is going on in this country? I watched the news recently regarding 2 brave girls fighting their molesters single handedly, with the onlookers just watching and even laughing at them. Nobody came to their help.These are the so called men in our society. What is more disturbing is that, it happened in a crowded bus. The serious issue of eve teasing, molestation and rape have been reduced to a joke. By this incident, we can infer that the society is actually contributing in empowering these molesters, because they know that no matter what they do, nobody will raise their voice and anyway the victim will be blamed first.

If this was not enough, today I read in the news paper that, a 3 year old girl has been raped by her attendant in school. Seriously? A 3 year old child? Is her perpetrator really a human being? How can he do this to an innocent child? How?

I am feeling so shocked, angry and helpless.